Why Does CVS Pharmacy Hate Its Customers?

CVS hates its customers and the environment.

My wife is not pregnant. She has not been pregnant in twelve years. In fact, my wife cannot get pregnant. But every time my wife picks up a prescription from CVS, the pharmacist’s computer insists the pharmacist ask if my wife is pregnant.

The pharmacist has tried to get the notification turned off. My wife has tried to get the notification turned off. But every time, CVS seems to think my wife is pregnant.

CVS does not just think my wife is pregnant. CVS thinks my wife needs a continually supply of prescription strength ibuprofen. The pharmacy kept refilling the prescription even though my wife did not request a refill. When the refills were maxed out, and without my wife’s consent, CVS called her doctor and got a new prescription for ibuprofen for her. Then CVS kept filling that one. No, we would not go pick them up.

Multiple people have told me they have had the same issue with CVS and it is possible not quite legally kosher for CVS to do this. With my family, CVS has tried this auto-refill scheme with multiple prescriptions. I, in fact, refuse to have prescriptions filled there. I actually pay higher prices at my local Publix pharmacy just to avoid having to get prescriptions from CVS.

CVS also prints out those enormous receipts. CVS does not just hate people. CVS hates the environment and, in particular, trees. CVS prints receipts that could stretch from the earth to the moon and then some. To eradicate these receipts, one must download the CVS app and set up a CVS account and use a CVS barcode and affirmatively choose options in the app to stop the stupid receipts. But when you set up that account and tie it to your prescriptions, CVS starts calling your cell phone every month begging you to refill prescriptions.

The company also hates its in-store shoppers. I went there last night with my daughter. They have eliminated the cashier. One must use an automated check out system and there were no bags. I, trying to be helpful, added the plastic shopping bags to the rack for customers and the machine would not then let me check out. At one point, I tried to scan my CVS barcode to prevent the fifty bazillion mile receipt and the machine demanded an employee come over and visually inspect everything in my bag — a bag I had to keep to the side lest it melt down again.

A line of customers formed while the man in front of me tried to check out. It grew longer as I checked out. The CVS cashier appeared only to clear errors from the machine, not to actually help the people in the long line.

I know multiple CVS pharmacists. They all go to Walgreens. I will too. I have never encountered a company that shows as much contempt for its customers as CVS. It is as if the cable company and the IRS had a love child that was raised by a proctologist.

Now aren’t you glad I didn’t write about politics today?